Pag-uwi sa Malayo

(Para kay Nasudi Anchin)


Nagtatampo
ang mga gunita
sa panahon
ng tagsibol
ng ating paglayo.

Ikaw din, bunso,
ay nagtatampo
sa paggawa
ng alaalang
ating lahat
habang ang ate
ay sagana
sa panggigising
sa iyong
puso
ng mga damdaming
estranghero
sa pagsuyo.

Sige,
uuwi ako
sa malayo, sabi mo
at ang mga talang
tumatanod
sa ating iiwang tahanan
ay nangusap,
kumampi
sa mga gintong bunga
ng niyog
ng itinanim
ng ating pangakong
magbabalik
sa mga bisig
ng batang araw
sa ating
lupang hinirang
na di naman
na yata
humihirang
sa ating
panaginip sa ulan
sa pagtatanim
ng mga butil
sa bukiring
nakaantabay
sa mga dasal
sa pag-aani.

Nangingiti
lamang
ang tirik na araw
sa Linggong ito
sa Torrance
ng iyong pagliban,
ikaw at ang iyong
pananakot
ng pagsusumbong
sa akin.

Sasabihin mo raw
sa ateng
ang angkang pinagmulan
ay sa mga hanging
dumadampi sa ating
mga pisnging
giniginaw
ng mga tubig-tabang
sa Kailokuhan--

o ng gunita
sa panahong
nagbubuklod-buklod
ang ating mga isip
sa pagbubuo
ng mga kastilyo
na lampas
sa mga buhanginan.

Dito sa Torrance,
sa baybaying
dumederetso
rin sa atin kaisipan
sa tubig
sa heograpiya
ng mga pag-asang hinihiram
natin sa
naglalanding
mga dalampasigan
sa atin
ikikintal ko sa isip
ang iyong panatang
yayakap ka sa akin
ng mahigpit na mahigpit
habang kausap
ang mga anghel
sa iyong pagtulog
na mahimbing,
dito man sa lupang
humirang na sa akin
o
diyan man sa atin
sa lupang minsan
ay humirang din
sa ating hinaing.

Siya, bunso,
itapon ang tampo
sa ligaw na hangin,
ipatianod
sa mga daluyong
sa dibdib
at huwag nang umalis
sa malayo tulad
ng nakagawian
nang sambitin.

A.S. Agcaoili
April 10, 2005

15 comments:

Ka Iddo said...

nagmayat ket ti tiradamon, apo ariel!
kumustaka ditan hawaii?

ariel said...

hi jim,
anian a nagbayag a di panagsisinnao!dios ti agngina ta adda met immalaak kenka.

addaak pay laeng ditoy los angeles, apo. ditoy pay laeng ti pagbirbirokan ti maisakmol a grasia. wenno maipapel a ladingit nga agbalin a pangparegta iti kararua ken estetika. barberengli, kunada man.

adda met ni apo cris inay idiay nueba york. ngem planonat' umallatiw ditoy LA ta gagaraen sa met ti niebe ti tulang ti kabsat a retirado ngem tirador pay laeng iti metapora.

nabara a pakumusta,
ariel

ie said...

ikaw din, o tayo itay, kelan ba tayo titigil sa pag-uwi sa malayo?

ie said...

kung mababasa lang yan ni anchin...

ariel said...

dear ayi:
thank you. parang ganun yata ang buhay natin--lagi-laging umuuwi tayo sa malayo. mga peregrino tayong lahat. mga manlalakbay. mga dumadaan lang sa buhay?

alam ko, alam ko, hijo mio. but we get stronger with the attempt to reclaim our memory, to bridge distances.

thank you for knowing so much.

camille said...

HEY PAPA.

wonderful poem! :) love u!

ariel said...

dear camz:
thank you, daughter. i hope that you saw something in there--a that the bunso will read it from memory much later on.

bless you for always,
popsy

ariel said...

dear camz:
thank you, daughter. i hope that you saw something in there--and that the bunso will read it from memory much later on. and that you will tell her the back story in this poem. will you? please do so. keep writing, keep on creating. lave you and miss you, sweetie daughter.

bless you for always,
popsy

ariel said...

dear camz:
thank you, daughter. i hope that you saw something in there--and that the bunso will read it from memory much later on. that you will tell her the back story in this poem? will you? please do so. keep writing, keep on creating. love you and miss you, sweetie daughter.

bless you for always,
popsy

agcaoili.com said...

Hello Aurelio,

I just saw your post on my site agcaoili.com. Except for the periodic uploading of new pictures (a promise to my dad and mom who are in Illinois), I don't actually check that site as often as I should.

Anyway, we probably passed each other many times in the CAL building, as my wife has been teaching German and French at the DEL since 1994. She says she knows you; she was probably was just too shy to approach you directly, and was waiting for a natural contact to occur, which inexplicably never happened. She says that sometimes student notes meant for you ended up on her door. Don't you recall getting mysterious student notes meant for her "Prof. Nina Agcaoili"?

You can reach me at my personal email apollo*at*agcaoili.com. I like using our last name for my email, as it serves as a means to remind others how to spell our uniquely-Filipino name. If you want an agcaoili.com email address, just let me know; I can forward it to your regular email address, or let you access it directly. (Offer also stands for any other true Agcaoili's.)

Regards,

Apollo

P.S. Sadly, I do not speak Ilocano. Being a Philippine-based Agcaoili, I consider this is a serious shortcoming. :(

ariel said...

dear apollo,
thank you for your letter. yes, i looked into your site and there i saw your definition of "agcaoili"--"holding on".

i was struck by that--a british/american/etic way of looking at ourselves. that was why i wrote you that note.

one way perhaps to look at hour history/story is the linguistic/emic way: by going back to the conceptual bases of the name. but this is another theory altogether. your guess is as good as mine. and i am telling you this in a tongue-in-cheek way.

This is another theory:

the "ag" functioning as prefix

the "caoili/kawili" functioning as to return right away.

the "ag" marks off the family, clan, lineage: "from the family...of"

the "caoili/kawili"--the root word (which means that the caoilis/caoiles/ and all other surnames sporting that root are related to us/we are related to them.

so there: agcaoili means "one who who comes from the family of the one who leaves but returns at the appointed time/returns right away".

my, i do not want to lecture, apollo. forgive me--but I thought that this should be interesting to all of us.

i read in the ancestry.com that we have been around in the United States since the 30s. Meaning, we have been here for a long time even during the days of racism and segregation and apartheid, US-style.

i wonder how the agcaoilis survived those days. this should be another research project. why don't we put up an agcaoili foundation so we can work on understanding our roots? this is serious now--wow!--an AGCAOILI FOUNDATION!

and then we will be able to gather all the best and worst of the agcaoilis from asia agcaoili to zeus agcaoili (who are these, pray, tell me!)

yes, I know nina, at least from afar. pareho kaming mahiyain siguro--o nagtatago kami sa isa't isa. which was which? dunno. but i am glad that we are now able to get in touch.

what about us putting together a book on the agcaoilis by tracing our roots and figuring out where we come from?

do you know that Joey Ayala the singer is an Agcaoili from his grandmother's side? His grandmother was an Agcaoili from the Ilocos. Joey Ayala told me so himself.

so what an interesting family, huh?

pls. give my regards to nina.

ie said...

itay, bat hindi ka na nagpopost?

ariel said...

dear son.
yeah, you are right. i need to get on track. i write everyday but they are there as drafts. been so busy with The Weekly Inquirer Philippines lately I could hardly find time to edit the drafts. But do not despair. I write each day, each day--everyday. You will see.

thanks for the the reminder.
itay

Loreto Agcaoili said...

very nice poem manong Ariel. i'm also an agcaoili from sydney but I was born and I grew up in quezon city. my dad is from laoag but sadly he passed away so soon so i did not have the chance to trace my roots. in a chance to see any information about my surname, i happened to typed it in the net and your site came out. its good to hear that all the agcaoilis are doing good in the states. anyway it's a pleasure meeting a very respectable and intelligent man like you.
regards,
loreto agcaoili

ariel said...

Hi Loreto,
You can reach me also at:
aurelioagcaoili@yahoo.com. thanks again.